(from Ra Uru Hu)
Today is my favorite day. I am wearing my hateful T-shirt. My goal is to try to give you an idea of what can be the best advantage in every type. Because every Type has its dilemma. It doesn’t matter what kind of Type it is. Why Manifestor is angry? We are angry because people don’t understand us. They feel very uncomfortable around us. There is nothing funnier to watch how people are trying to stand around Manifestors. It’s really cute. You can’t enter their aura. Especially all these Generators with their embracing aura around you – they are trying to take you into their aura. And it’s not like Manifestors wouldn’t want to do that, it’s just not the way it works for them. We have this conditioning process, and if you want to say something, and your aura says something, my Manfestor’s aura says – leave me alone, if I don’t want to say this, I don’t. I am even saying: come closer, and my aura says – get away from me. That’s why it’s not easy to be a Manifestor. It’s not easy to be a parent-Manifestor. I know this for a fact, it’s not easy. It’s not easy to push through one of these auras.
Look, Manifestors have this reputation throughout many centuries, and you’ve got to understand this. People always admired that Manifestors were building this whole civilization, and throughout the history it was considered that Generators were simply slaves of these bright Manifestors. I like those times when Generators were my slaves, and it was amazing! I used to tell them – you could do what I do – and they tried, and I was watching how they were trying to do it. And I didn’t need to do anything. They are brave people, they are working well. There is nothing better than a busy Generator which is easy to manipulate. But this happened 300 and more years ago.
Generators don’t pay a lot of attention at us, as if we are the problem. And it’s true. They are right- we are not like them. It’s not very easy – to think or say that Manifestors used to have this true glory. And you have to understand that each has a strategy and it comes from the body. Generator’s Strategy or Projector’s Strategy or Reflectors’s Strategy is truly rooted in their body. And don’t say it to anyone: Manifestor’s Strategy is made up. It’s true. If Manifestors won’t pretend that they have a strategy, they will have a difficult time with all people. Then they will be very lonely.
And when I say “lonely,” I truly mean loneliness, being lost in themselves. And being very angry at the whole world around them. Manifestors are not like any other Type around them. Nobody knows what a burden they carry. Compared to any other Strategy – to wait for invitation, to wait for response, to wait for the moon, - it seems that we Manifestors have it easy with our Strategy. But nobody likes it. Nobody. And as soon as you, a Manifestor, wake up with an amazing idea, you know how to turn the door knob, how to open the door, then you go outside, spend a great time, lose yourself somewhere inside yourself, leave, get lost, and your mother ultimately calls the police, and the child says – I was in the forest next to the house, looking at the trees, playing and dreaming about future, and all of a sudden there are people with big hats saying – we found him, we found him! My mother was very angry. She said – I will never let you go outside alone, you can’t go alone, I will not let you, ever!
I opened the door because I could open it. I went out into the world because I liked it. The Strategy is not real. It is not this natural place within me which wants to inform you. There is no place such as that. There is no natural place within me which wants to ask anyone’s permission. I’d rather die. Because there is no true mechanics for this. The only thing the Manifestor child can protect itself – he can pretend that he is not really terrible, he can pretend that he needs others. «I am sorry, I didn’t mean to, I won’t do this again, I am a little Manifestor, could you help me cross the street?» If you tell this to a Generator, he will say – oh, of course, I’ll be happy to help you, let me take you across the road, such a sweet Manifestor you are. – And he will take this Manifestor across the road. As if this is the only way how I can cross the street. All we face all the time is resistance. And it really makes us very angry.
This shouldn’t be some crazy anger, but this anger is always there inside, and it doesn’t go away. Who are you to stand in my way? Why are you standing in my way at all – you are an idiot, you don’t know what I know, get lost, go and wait. That’s the Manifestor’s image driving a truck and driving it over someone. If you are a Manifestor and see someone on the road, you can’t just drive over them because there are laws, because there is a certain conditioning why Manifestor can’t simply run over a person even if they want to do it really bad. Instead, he says “let’s inform,” and we signal, and if you pay attention, when Manifestor is hitting the signal, he doesn’t take his foot off the gas pedal, he just says “get lost from my way or I’ll run over you, and it’s your problem, not mine.” And this old lady is even thankful that we signaled and she could leave. This is a food for the highway. That’s why we are not liked. Because Manifestors are driving around and not signaling.
But this doesn’t match any idea about what this person should be like. I will never forget my first public speaking. It was in some town hall, and there were really spiritual and esoterical people there. I remember this evening so well because I kicked someone out from there. I was on the stage saying all my nonsense and someone asked me a question – and I said «dear guest, get out from here». When I told him to get lost, it became really quiet. And everyone started saying – yes, yes, get out. And you could see how others started joining and saying – yes, get out. When the lecture finished, people came up to me and said – it was terrible, you have to be nice, you have to be a “saint,” you shouldn’t throw people out.
We are Manifestors. And there is a part of us which doesn’t accept any morals, any laws. I am an Ego Manifestor and these are the most terrible people on the planet. And very dangerous. Ask all the women I’ve dumped. I am very angry. Ego Manifestor, you can imagine – all my work is based on the willpower. And if someone stands in my way…Nowadays I’m signaling, I am letting them know, saying, don’t do this, don’t stand in my way. And if they do, I say: well, that’s your problem now.
There are two sides in every Type. The Non Self of the Manifestor lives with its anger, and if it lives with this anger, it will never know love. It just will not. The hardest thing for a Manifestor in their life is love. They don’t have this natural way of connecting to other people, which means that psychologically love becomes something very difficult. It’s very difficult for them. There is no feeling there that they have to be connected with someone, that they have to be attached to someone. The aura doesn’t let this. And when I remember my childhood, relationship with my mom, and this was a mother with a child-Manifestor. I was a child, and I was the last child in the family. And I truly loved her. But she could never approach me. It was simply impossible. And when you think about psychology, think about how difficult it is, what it is like to carry something like this within. And the anger – it’s the chemistry. It is passed on from the past, and I have to live with it. What, you want me to become nice? Do I need your permission? These are like the first kings, how they felt when they had to give away their power imagine? They will be ruling, and I will be asking their permission? It’s very tough.
The other side of the Manifestor is their signature, something which is their purpose. We are here to find peace. That’s what we want more than anything else. Peace. We don’t want all this resistance. I am living in the bubble, and maybe I am coming out of it once a day for a short period of time. I live in this bubble in which I don’t need to deal with this natural resistance. I don’t care that people know, I am saying about what it feels like. When I enter some public café, how does my aura feel? There is nothing which welcomes you, nothing. You are not bringing it outside – whatever you are projecting as a Manifestor, whatever you are carrying as yourself. They don’t know what you like, they don’t know that you like them, they don’t know anything about that. Because they are not feeling it naturally.
Generators are about the expression “give their heart away to someone.” When a Generator enters my aura, they are ready to give me everything. It’s in their aura. It’s good that you are with me, that’s why let’s be together, bring out everything you have. Projectors are pretty much coming on to you with their focus. I can feel them from any angel. They are like true snipers – let me aim at you. And they are aiming in that one spot with their aura, and oh, god, the further away from me, the better. And when you are a Manifestor, you are entering into one of these buildings, and they are all looking at you, and this is crazy, it is crossing all the borders. When a Projector is behind you, you keep on looking behind your shoulders to where the Projector is. That’s why you leave, and they say – you know, he is not very friendly, it’s very difficult to approach them.
And it is so funny. That’s the aura. And this is the magic when you understand this. In order to understand people, you need to understand their aura. Because aura is something how we all are interrelating with one another. Manifestors don’t interact. When we do, it truly works. It’s easy for me here, I am far away from you, I am in my own space. I can interact on this level, I can do this old Manifestor’s trick which I will do anyway. To be a Manifestor, to be among people, the horror from what it is like for the Manifestor – people don’t understand this. This is a horrible life. It is truly horrible and while you are living and not understanding why this all happens this way in relationships you won’t be able to break free from conditioning.
I thought that something was wrong with me. I truly thought. It was clear to me that I am non-emotional, I am a Manifestor, and it seemed to me that I have problems connected with people with the fact of going into relationship with them. What was the problem exactly? I had no idea. I had no idea that all people wanted to get access to me, a lot of times I didn’t even notice that. Because you are enclosed in the aura of your own Type. And it’s very lonely there. Then there are all these mechanisms of our life, all these lovers, children and all that. I love my children very deeply, but they know what my aura is like. We don’t spend all the time in the aura contact because it’s impossible. I am living in the house full of Generators, and when I spend 10 minutes with them, I want to go to my room, and there is nothing personal in this. I just want to get out of this frequency. I am a pure non-sacral being. I don’t need all this. And this is not a mental thing, it’s not psychological. There is nothing personal. It’s physical.
And you see – until you start understanding this – majority of Manifestors, and it’s almost 10%, around half a billion people, - we have half a billion angry lonely people. It is not a very pleasant thing. It brings in chaos. And we are those people who want peace. It is our only goal in all that. Everything which is connected with this knowledge, it is connected with being able to get rid of the resistance, when you can operate correctly as your true Self. For a Manifestor it can be something you can rely on. The majority of Manifestors will never come to such meetings, courses, they don’t need it. And I’ve done thousands and thousands of Readings and very few of them were for Manifestors. Because they have already closed down, they are already angry at the world. And since there is no natural Strategy, there are emotional people which are riding their wave, there are Generators which are in their own discoveries, and they are answering for their life, there are Projectors from time to time which are also becoming aware of a mess in their life and try to sort it out. And this all is resonating very deeply for them. But not for a Manifestor.
If you want to teach your Manifestor child to be polite, you need to understand that it is not natural for them. It’s not what they like, not something they would want to learn. This is not that child which would want to play by the rules of this world. This is a training. For a Manifestor child – if they didn’t receive this training before they become grown ups, it will be too late when they are adults. I’ve met very few adult Manifestors which were very polite. What does it mean for an adult Manifestor to inform? It changed my life for real.
I don’t have any reason or base to say anything to anybody. I was crazy and I had this strange experience. I was completely lonely, and in a way I liked it. It was a special life. If honestly, I have no real reason or wish to change it. I didn’t want to tell this story of the Voice to anyone, but more than that I didn’t want to have years and years of resistance. What it was for me, for a Manifestor, all these 20 years – to contribute something new into this world and all the time deal with this resistance. And I kept on standing and informing, letting them know. It saved my life.
I have such a blessed life. It is so easy for me to be myself, to be this Manifestor. We are here to influence, so we are not that useless. I influenced many beings on this planet, and that’s the core. We have this influence, effect. When you are thinking of a Manifestor, think about what they watch, contemplate. But before you do this, try to understand how many people it will influence. And then you will be able to understand what it means to be a Manifestor. Because our influence is natural. This is our gift, it is a natural gift. The fact that we have this unusual aura different from the rest, helps us standing. They know us, they see us, and we truly influence them.
It doesn’t mean that Manifestors won’t come out, that they are completely uninterested in themselves. During these 20 years I am still learning about myself, studying myself because that’s the most interesting thing. I am a Manifestor, not a Generator. Generators are always in some temple of themselves. I am here not to get to know myself, I am not worried about that. Influence, effect – yes, that’s interesting, that’s what Manifestor is interested in – can I influence? What kind of influence? When I was giving a Reading to a Manifestor, all of them were telling me – I don’t need these Readings, I just came to you to find out the truth, I want the truth.
For example, there is an ideal of a pure Generator, and I can’t think of something more ideal, perfect, it simply perfect. All they need to do is resonate, respond, and this is a classical example of what gives us everything in this life. And look at us Manifestors, we are not like that. We are not lilacs in the field. We are warriors. That’s what we are. The fact that we are now in this hierarchy and we are forced to leave from the top, it doesn’t mean that we stopped being the way we were. I like to see myself metaphorically as this huge statue which is on the field where nobody is driving, it is just standing there. That’s the Manifestor. But you still can have a small show on this field. You can have this influence anyway, and you can still live your life. Now this world belongs to Generators and Projectors. I am OK, I don’t mind this. Keep going. We Manifestors retired, we don’t want to rule this world anymore, we want this world to stop pressuring us. We want them to leave us be so that we can enjoy our life. We pretend that we like them. That’s what I do.
I am really pretending that I love each of you. Or while having dinner with my Generator family I do that. And if there is anything I can do right now, I will do it. I am letting them know. And if you talk to people who knew me in the first half of my life, I have a Design of a person who disappeared. There was a guy who stood up one day, left and never came back. And now I am pretending. And they keep on saying – what a nice Manifestor, sweet Manifestor, not dangerous at all. We can trust this Manifestor because it tells us something about what it is planning to do. It’s wonderful. And if you are not doing it, you are simply standing up and leaving, everyone says: what happened, is something wrong? Are you angry? So many times people asked me if I was angry, when I was simply leaving the room. And I was just leaving the room. These are people of the aura which say “where did this aura go? We can’t hold on to it anymore.” And they don’t like it. That’s why you need to say “no, I am going to my room.” And then everything is OK. Now he is in his room. We know where he is, all is good, no worries. That’s what it means to be a Manifestor.
We are those who have to always do things. We are those who have to do it first. Everyone is looking at us and saying – I am waiting for my response. The other one is saying – no, I am waiting for my invitation. And the Reflector says – I am waiting for the moon. But someone has to fill this bucket with water! And I don’t want to do it myself. We have to do it! And then they start getting annoyed with me – what you mean they want us to do it. Then they are going against you. You want to go your way? Then we are going to create so much resistance for you so that you will go and get that water yourself.
I’ve spent years pumping others. Generators, Projectors, saying how wonderful you are that you are Generators, Projectors. And today is a day of Manifestors. And if you are not a Manifestor, I’m sorry, you are out of luck, then you need to see what it looks like. All we need is peace! Think about it, we are the only people on this planet who want peace. Generators want to be satisfied, satisfied in war. And whenever you satisfy them, these are the most wonderful creatures, until they are alright, they are operating correctly, they are satisfied. Projectors want their success. They can be successfully killing, lovingly, whatever it takes until they receive their success. And I don’t care if this is correct for them, it’s good, then it’s good, do it. Reflectors want their surprise only, to keep getting their surprises. And we Manifestors want peace. That’s us. We are those who created wars, and now we all wanted peace. I’m sorry, my mistake. When we were in charge of peace, war was great. Now when we are not in charge anymore, the war is not that great. Now there are these collective, tribal wars between Generators and Projectors, and they can kill one another. We Manifestors never did it. I’m kidding.
But we want peace. That’s my job. I am here to get peace, to bring us peace. Gods like this joke, and this is a joke. Of course, it’s not about bringing peace to other people, it’s about receiving this peace for ourselves.
As soon as I understood all this, as soon as I understood that I am here the only Authority which can work for me, as soon as I started living it in my life, only then I started understanding that the peace is possible. I have an open emotional system, open Root. Look at my Design. I have three open motors. I have a very powerful Non Self – to avoid confrontation, truth, never know when enough is enough, always be under pressure, do this all, and it won’t even matter. I haven’t come across anything apart from resistance. And it was scary because I was smarter than many, and I couldn’t understand why I had this disorder in life. There was only anger. And being a non-emotional, this anger was terrible, so terrible. And I can remember those moments when I completely lost it, no control whatsoever, it was not me.
This is a terrible tragedy in this life that people walk around and never say about themselves, they don’t know something about themselves or about their children. People don’t even know how they operate in their own body. Everything we’ve learned from our teachers and parents mostly was a lie. Majority was not even connected with what we are. I have a big sympathy for all those Generators who were brought up by Manifestors. All their life is frustration. It’s so painful. And it is connected with the Non-Self. Peace comes to Manifestors when you play games with other people, and all this time dealing with this resistance. Then it’s much easier to be social for us, and the key here is Authority.
We are all ruled by the mind. The smarter you are, the deeper is the problem. It is what our mind does to us. It is here not to decide for us, not to rule our life, control our movements in this life. The real changes for me happened not when I started playing the Manifestor game, but when I started informing. This is what gave me an opportunity for my relationships, my environment, what changed for me, and what really became meaningful in my Design. I am a Spleen Manifestor, and I know only in the moment, and I only can trust what I know in the moment, nothing else. It took me a long time to go away from the power of this mind, and start living my life. When I looked back, I realized that my mind was doing an incredible work for me.
And then this magic thing happened. Everything collapsed. The moment there was freedom to just sit, be in this experience, in the moment and realize how deep it was for me, that I didn’t need to think what to do, what to say “yes” and “no” to, I didn’t have to think over a strategy for this and that, I didn’t need to torture myself. The first time in my life I started looking into people’s eyes and see. It doesn’t matter what Type you are. It’s the same. It starts with understanding that if you don’t start making decisions from your true Self, then your life will never change, and you will feel this emptiness.
Peace is a reward. It is a silence, peace in your spirit. It means that you won’t feel that you need to demonstrate something. It is connected with learning how to see, and I am doing that. This is also connected with understanding as soon as you are correct for yourself, you know how to meet with all this. We Manifestors are here to influence others but with our Inner Authority. And it is very important to understand about the nature of the mind. It’s not like it is of no use, it is splendid, wonderful. My mind is very good for you. Your mind might be good for me. The dilemma is that the majority of minds are homogenized. They are filled with the same clichés. Everything we see in terms of people, and with what is open in them, it becomes what they are not, and controls the way they think and how they see.
A blind Manifestor is a suffering Manifestor. And Manifestors are suffering in silence. We are not crying in front of other people, we don’t do that. We don’t know how to do that. We are doing it in our own company. When a Generator is suffering, he can share. I know these moments when Generators are hurt, you can all perceive this from their aura, they can’t hide it. This is the power which connects everything on the planet. Manifestors have this all inside. We don’t have any opportunity to give it out. It’s just a feeling within, and it’s uncomfortable. We can’t just go outside and interact with it. It is not our way. I remember when I started giving public lectures, I was telling them in the beginning – “don’t trust me. We are here not for you to trust us”. You can’t trust a Manifestor. If you say that you trust the Manifestor, you are lying. Because all your mechanism inside, your whole aura says – “there is no trust.” And no matter what games you are playing with the other person, this distrust comes out onto the surface right away. “I knew that you are like that, I was just waiting for you to show me.”
People are always waiting from us that which they don’t like, that which they don’t love. As soon as a child Manifestor meets the other one, he says “aha, another one, we have to pay more attention to him, he’s gonna be the problem”. From the beginning! My mother knew this from the beginning, she should’ve killed me, ok, because it would be a problem. It is. There is no Manifestor child whose parent, whose mother didn’t say when he was born “holy shit, here we go.” And then they have this Generator child. And they go “oh, so cute,” and the Generator’s aura is vibrating around him, and the parents go “here is my child.” And they are looking sideways at the Manifestor child. And that’s how we live all our life. We are always a disappointment for others. It is one of those ironies and dilemmas of a Manifestor.
There is one movie which really impressed me because Charlie Chaplin said at the end: “what a story,” when a third character entered. You might not grasp what I am trying to say here but this is really a good joke. A Generator child is perfect, ideal. Because everyone demands from him to behave like a Manifestor, and it’s not the same. Parents got a child Generator, and they say, what a cute Manifestor. This child will hear “do this, do that, be like this, go there.” And the small Generator learns to manifest. Of course there will be frustration, but it works because parents created someone this person is not. But they started the conditioning process.
As soon as the Manifestor is born, parents say “we need to make new chains, tie him up.” The Child Manifestor with an open Self center. You see him, he has everything closed up to his Throat, and if they could pack him, hang him somewhere on the back yard so that he wouldn’t run away, that’s what they would do because this open Self center, you don’t know whether he will disappear when he goes for a walk. Nothing will stop him. Manifestor children are the only children which are always tied to a leash. You truly can see when parents are walking with this kids, how they are on this leash. We have several Manifestors in this room right now, you know this movie. And it is what people want to do with us, all the adults, lovers, friends. Can I put you on a leash? It has a very nice color. I will give you a long chain. And I will add few more chains, OK? And then everything will be fine. Then I can trust you. And you just want to tear that chain. Everyone who has Manifestors in their life, has others who want to put chains on them. And it’s not like it’s all conscious. It is just there in the aura, it’s there mechanically. It is the first response to the Manifestors’ aura.
I don’t like leashes. That’s why I’ve learned to play the Manifestor’s game. And it is really a pleasure. And this is what a Manifestor should understand. And you can play this game if you are operating correctly, if you have this awareness from all of this. This whole business with letting the other person know, to let him know – not because they have a right to know, no. I am not informing because they have a right to know. I am informing so that they get off my back. This is just politics, get it. I am giving what is needed so that you get out of my way. I am giving you what you need and you are keeping your collar, your leash somewhere in your storage. Yes, I will do it, I will be sweet, I will let you know everything. Just don’t think that you are taking this because you are supposed or that you deserved it, or you have to get it. It is not connected with the other person. And this is one of Manifestor’s dilemmas. And you can remind them every day that there are other people on this planet as well, and that they have to pay attention at least to those with whom you are related by blood. You are waking up in the morning and oh shit, there are other people, and they are not the same as us. And I have to play this game. But if you don’t play this game, there is no peace. And the peace is very nice.
It’s much easier to teach Manifestor children, that’s the hope for Manifestors in the future. So that they won’t go through this discomfort, and so that they could understand from the beginning these relations with other people. I didn’t think that people wanted to have anything to do with me, it’s not in my aura. I remember how I was going to school and how uncomfortable it was to be in this aura. And you can’t know this until you start living your truth. You don’t think that there are such people who are interested in you. As if someone even sees you and you want to make life for them easier. Manifestor has to bow his head in front of the majority always so that they can live in peace. For Manifestors it is quite a difficult task since they are not interested in themselves.
When I first came to this island (Ibiza), all my friends were these sanyasins, and they started attacking me, speaking about this and that – inner this, inner that. I sometimes don’t even know what is in front of my eyes, I don’t know what they are saying at all. I was this sort of man – when I had relationship with someone, I would come in and ask what did I do, what I knew, what I’ve seen. The first problem for a Manifestor is that we don’t want to know. Because we don’t want others to tell us. The most difficult for Manifestors is to say to the Manifestor that something is impossible. Because Manifestors don’t have this spot within themselves which wants for someone to come to them and say – do you have a problem? Do you want me to help you?” And Manifestor says – get lost. Because it is not natural for us.
We don’t want to be corrected, to be repaired, to be fixed, to be controlled. Someone tells you that they are going to make your life better – it’s just another leash for the Manifestor, one more mechanism of control. And Manifestors can’t take it. I like my joke about a Manifestor who has a heart attack on the street, he is lying there, and these big Generators with big auras are approaching him and asking “can I help you?” He says – no, go away, I’d rather die here alone, I don’t want you to help you. It’s too late!” We don’t want others to help us. I remember these people in my life who wanted to help. I have 5/1 Profile, I always suspected even God when he was kind to me. You want to help? What do you really want from me? This is Manifestor. We don’t want to be controlled.
That’s why it’s natural that Manifestors are deeper than others lost in their conditioning, being in the loneliness of their aura, want to ignore good advice which they receive because it is not for them. For me it was always a tragedy, I always called myself a Manifestor who is good for Generators, Projectors, Reflectors. And my family of Generators are like lost sheep. Every time when I meet one of them in the house, it’s cute, nice because if it is of your fractal line, if it is not your situation, then the opportunity won’t present itself, you won’t change your life, you won’t do anything and you’ll just live those old models that you inherited from your parents and society. You are trying to do in the best possible way something you’ve received from them, and you are suffering in silence. It hurts. And that’s why it is not natural for a Manifestor to say “help me.”
And until Manifestor has this spark, and he wants someone to help him, that will be something standing in his way preventing him from self-realization as a being. This is not a Generator which requires to understand itself or a Projector who is acquiring mastery. As a Manifestor you need to know the basic minimum: where is your Authority. Strategy we know, it’s fake. But the Authority is the mechanics, your True Authority.
Look at my Design. There is no strategy which is written in my Design. You will never find it in Manifestor’s design. There is no strategy because it’s a lie. All you can find is Authority. I always like to deal with women because there is more reward with them. As a man, the most difficult thing for me is to trust my intuition. Look at my Design, I have a very strong, fixed mind. At the same time, my authority is my intuition, my Spleen. Everything which is connected with my life is rooted in my intuition, just like it is for women. When I speak to you, I don’t know. I don’t know why I am saying “no.” This is something that comes out of me in the moment, this is something that my immune system says. “Don’t speak to these people because it will kill you.” In 10 minutes they can come up to me and ask “can I speak to you?” The same person with the same question. And I hear as my Spleen says “OK.” I don’t know what changed. If my mind is trying to understand this, then I have a problem.
People with Defined Spleen that say “I know, I knew it would happen,” but they are saying this when they are already in the hospital. They don’t say this before it happened whatever that is. That’s what Mind does to them. I had to learn that my mind doesn’t know anything. It didn’t know that I had to meet this car and that it would hit me. My mind was really confused about what I did, it still doesn’t trust my Spleen. In those moments when I spontaneously say “yes” or “no” to something, my mind immediately says “what are you doing, why did you just do this? Why?” The Spleen will never answer. You can’t have a conversation with your Spleen. Conversations are in the head, and the Spleen is a boom. It doesn’t matter what kind of Strategy I have, how I play these games, there is my Authority, that’s all. You have to understand one thing – on the surface there is only one value – to know how to make decisions as your True Self. It changes your life. It doesn’t matter what you do, where you are going, what is happening – you are making decisions from your True Self and it changes your life, changes you.
Majority of people change their lives through Strategies – Generators, Projectors, Reflectors, but Manifestors are changing their life only through Authority, only. Everything else is a game, only a game to survive so that we won’t be overthrown. I never understood this, and I made so many wrong decisions in my life, it’s unbelievable how I managed to survive. So many wrong decisions. Because I didn’t know how. And the smarter you become, the harder it is to make decisions because you are letting your mind make decisions. And mind is not worried whether it is right or wrong. That’s the thing – because your mind doesn’t care if this is a right or a wrong decision for you. It doesn’t care! Oh, it didn’t work? Ok, let’s try the other one. It doesn’t look at the mind and say – hm, this mind doesn’t really do it very well.
Nobody ever told us that there is a place within us which knows how to live this life without any problems. Nobody. And when I think about all these children.. Look at this knowledge that was given to me. I am working with adults, and it is the only thing I can do, but in reality I realized how beautiful it is for the children in the beginning. We are making our children homogenous. Those of you who are studying PHS (it’s a section in Human Design which answers for the proper nutrition according to our Design), know this. As soon as you give them the wrong food, you already homogenize them because we know that they are made for choosing a certain type of nutrition, what should be given to them in order for them to fulfill their unique potential. We are making our children homogenized, and this is a side effect of homogenization – the way we were fed, the way we were treated.
To make decisions correctly from our True Self means ignoring all these false authorities. To be a Manifestor is the only thing which save me because I have this place within me which shouldn’t bow to anyone – not to the outer world, not to the God, not to any concept, to nothing. It is something that saved me as a personality, as a human. I know how to operate on this plane, and this is what this life is connected to. There are 2 billion hungry people on this planet, we live in the world which is very cruel. There are many kinds of pain, ignorance, and it’s unbelievable what is happening, and this all is a collateral product of the mind, this madness. And you know when there is a possibility to be able to stand in all this madness which we call a “normal world” where Manifestors are wondering around lonely and angry…And it has always been like this. They don’t know how to behave. And you don’t know how to live on this plane. Because this is a world of decision making.
We all are moving in the space, constantly, this is a great mantra in this life. Everything which is connected with life is the direction. And everything which is connected to getting rid of this resistance is an ability to move along your own line, not anyone else’s, not through anyone else’s rules or authorities. So that you won’t have to blame anyone for following their direction and seeing later on that the direction was wrong.
The magic of this knowledge is that there is an Authority in everyone of us, inside every one of us. But you can’t get peace as a Manifestor any other way, there is no such thing. That’s where your peace starts, this is what needs to be understood, because we see these clichés, and we say about the point of peace, about all these people who are on this planet. And Manifestors out of them all can be the most motionless. They are still, deep, cold. And if you disturb them, it’s terriblе, it’s chaos. But if you let this get settled in, it’s something really deep. This is a Manifestor. It’s motionlessness which is in this closed aura, this peace inside, and not all of these confusions, waves, circles on the water, and that resistance which we face because we have no right to be in aloneness, and we are resisting it, getting offended.
People often say that we are keeping the memories about all sorts of fears which were millions of years ago. I know that each Manifestor carries within themselves the deepest fears and offenses about Manifestors which they keep within themselves for thousands of years. Read all of these sacred books, they were written by Manifestors – you have to, you have to, you will do it, and if you don’t, you’ll be punished. Manifestors always fall out of rules. That’s why it is so difficult for people to live with Manifestors because they don’t follow those rules. But they remember. That’s why other people don’t trust us, they don’t want to be in our aura, they are being suspicious of us. And that is the moment when we can play all these political games – I am this sweet person, let me inform you, let me share with you, let me tell you thank you for sharing with me…Until you are peaceful, I will be sharing with you whatever I can share. But don’t put a leash on me. We have to be free, it is a free horse in the field. And the beauty of this all – that’s what it means to be us.
I always thought about other Types like about aliens, not in the negative meaning, just about something which is completely different from me. They are not like me. Some of my best friends are Generators and Projectors, and Reflectors. And there is no prejudice here. But they are not like me because the way they communicate with one another, the way they live in this world, the way it works for them – this all is absolutely alien for me. Look at the Generator’s world. There are many Generators. You know that they all are stuck behind these huge doors in the big generator kabbalah. And I don’t understand it. I was always on the top of the pyramid, and I had no idea what was happening below. To be a Manifestor means not to be one of the crowd. It’s not like that. And there is nothing sadder than when Manifestor tries to be communicative. It can be even painful. They are not made for this. And sooner or later everyone will notice it and that’s when the real problems start.
If all the people on the planet will put together everything what they said behind Manifestor’s backs, then Manifestors will be on the top. There will be stories told about them even when they are long dead. «Your father was such a bastard…» And these stories will linger on forever. We are so happy that we are not responsible for anything now, and that they are not taking care of us. This is a typical dilemma which I faced in life – I couldn’t hear my Spleen, I was ignoring it, and my mind was directing me through my open centers, and I was receiving all the conditioning there is. That was me. Everything that was wrong in my life, it was something that wasn’t me. And it is really tough.
The glory for a Manifestor is in the moment when you realize that since you have your own authority, you shouldn’t deal with anyone anymore. And this is truly peace. I am playing these games when it is suitable, but I am letting my Spleen decide when to play, when to be nice, not often, I don’t play a nice Manifestor often, I don’t see the point. I don’t see the point because it is a huge theme for a Manifestor – you either accept me or leave. Accept me or leave. You either accept me for who I am, just like that, and then you can approach me as close as I will let you, and you will never be able to come to me closer than that, so if you can live with it, then it’s OK. If you can’t live with it, if you can’t accept it, then go somewhere else, don’t stand on my way, don’t stand on the way of life itself.
Life passes very quickly. If you can imagine…it passes by with such a huge speed. I still can’t believe that I will turn 59. It means there isn’t much time to enjoy smelling the roses. I needed half of the life to understand what is happening in this life. And it’s great. I love maya. I love this illusion. And the only movie that we have – it’s all these people in the world. It is easier to see the dysfunction, the way this all doesn’t work, I can say how many children are dying every hour, how many people can’t receive water, etc. but my life through my own authority is ideal. That’s what’s important.
Human Design is a very egotistical knowledge, you should understand it. It is for one person at a time, so that you can love yourself. The saddest thing that I know is people who hate themselves, who don’t have love for themselves. They don’t think that there is nothing more pathetic than psychology of these people. And I am not blaming them, it’s not their fault. Nobody taught them how to find it within themselves. You can’t love your Non-Self. I can’t love that person who is avoiding confrontation, the truth, who didn’t know when it is enough. I didn’t love this person, he was unpleasant for me, it was not a good being. It was not somebody worth loving. The other person was really nice. That’s what I wanted to become always. Such a gift. And then you see what you are because it’s interesting what this incarnation is all about. I never tell about this, I feel nauseous from this. As if people know when they speak about different incarnations what it means for them…
I didn’t know what it means to be a messenger until I became one. I didn’t have any idea about it. Until you become it. And then it captures you. That’s the beauty of your life. That’s what it means to be in your Incarnation Cross, to open that you are truly helpless, incompetent, and that your Cross and your aim will be satisfied no matter what. And you are just a witness. This is what the passenger is here for, that’s what he has to do, that’s what it is about. It’s not about using your mind for ruling your life, it is connected with enjoying your mind and its perspective, and share with this perspective with others.
We are social beings, social people. Look at the Throat center in the bodygraph, that’s what our gift, and think about what we are saying to each other, just listen to people. They never say the truth, they are practically don’t know how, it comes out of their Non-Self, it comes out of their conditioning. I remember that I never said truth. The only thing when you can get rid of the confrontation of the truth, when you have an open emotional system, it’s to lie, lie, and lie. And the better your memory is, the better you lie.
I never truly have real relationships with other people. It was never me. It was always conditioning controlling my mind and making decisions for me. Such a chaos. And it’s not only my chaos. As Manifestors, we influence, and we mix up lives of other people. Truly. You see, it is so simple. You always go back to your Strategy and Authority. You are going back to your own things which give you a chance to see this being, and not that conditioned being. We are living in this all the time, all the world is the homogenized Non Selves, the mind which is constantly making decisions through rules established by someone else, based on their conditionings. It is such a boring world when you are looking at it from this point of view, so restricted, there is so little variety there, and the world is densely homogenized. The mind doesn’t know how to live. It is just waiting to die on this planet, and that’s what I know about the life here – that the majority people are just waiting for death. And the majority is waiting for liberation when the life will come to an end. They are born, and they didn’t like all that time while they were here. And the majority of people truly are having a hard time on this planet.
This Human Design knowledge requires a lot of money, it’s not for everyone, and it will never be for everyone. It is for a certain percentage of people who can grasp it and begin playing the normal games trying to live the lives which is not them, where they are afraid of the government, doctors, lawyers, teachers, husbands, wives, where the authority of every second person is way more important than your own. It takes courage for this – to stand on your own feet. I see us as the aspect of the godliness, and if I operate correctly in my life, I see this divine shining – I don’t mean anything esoterical, it’s a mechanical truth. We all are filtering the field of consciousness, we all live in the neutrino ocean. Each of us is unique expression of this potential.
And as soon as you don’t live out your uniqueness, you are open to all those diseases, problems which the homogenized world has. And they are much bigger than anything you can imagine. The first 10 years when I was studying, I didn’t even teach Human Design, I didn’t speak about the Non Self because I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to put it across to people. That’s how powerful the Non Self is. Look at your openness, at the whiteness of your Chart, and understand that this all is a receptor, the genetic receptor. And you think – I have to have this, this is what I need, this is what I am, this is what I have to become. As soon as you were born, you begin to become homogenized because people are feeding you in the wrong way, not what you need, and your neural activity closes down at the age of 3. And then you can’t already realize your cognitive potential.
Nobody ever treated me with respect throughout my life. it’s not like they didn’t love me, they just didn’t know better. I watched as they were destroying my life, I was just watching. It’s good that I am an Ego Manifestor, at least I could withstand it. Because it is so easy to destroy someone. It is so easy to place them in that world where they can live, and they will not find anything but the banal stupid rules. It is not a common knowledge. You won’t be giving it to the masses. You can’t. They are not ready for it. It’s not the way it has to be. We are approaching the end game. And in this end game there is a window of possibilities opening.
We are living in the great times, and it’s truly so, these are the times when people can really understand how to operate as their true Selves. Think about the whole humanity which never heard and knew about the way they operate in the world. This knowledge makes your life so much easier. And when I was given this knowledge at first, I thought, wow, how cool it is, it will be so easy, so simple. But this mind doesn’t let the simple exist. Smart people never like anything simple, they just find it too simple. I can’t say this to smart people, that’s how simple it is. And all what is required is to open the truth – that’s what the experiment makes you do. You can’t trust anything out of it, you can just discover it for yourself, and as soon as you enter this process, you open it very fast. And what a great difference it brings into your life. That’s what it takes.
And I am watching this movie for 20 years now, and it’s incredible for me to see how difficult it is to make people to accept the truth, the simple truth to make them try it themselves. It is so simple to check, and then you understand what I am saying, that this is not something universal, this is not a universal knowledge. No. I am here to teach everyone to be non-normal, out of ordinary. This is my job – to teach what it is like to be out of ordinary and love yourself for this. And how to find your beauty and your otherness. How wonderful it is to meet people which are not alike when you can truly express what there is. I’ve already seen it all and heard it all, I am not interested in anything there is, somebody is interpreting something for me, telling something over and over again, I don’t need to discuss the philosophy concepts which are simply garbage, and they’ve been discussed for centuries as if it is something unique. You have a unique perspective when you are not normal, when you are not bowing down to someone else’s authority, and not when your life is ruled by responsibilities which lock you and don’t give you a chance to see things the way they are, and they don’t give you an opportunity to be correct. Being correct is you are not dropping something which is operating correctly, and that’s the rule for everything. But you have to be correct. And this is again about the Strategy and Authority.
Every time when you meet a Manifestor, do everything to tell them that they can really be useful people. They can do their contribution, and it’s so difficult to get to them. The only way you can get something out of the Manifestor is if you truly love them. Then they can learn something about themselves. It’s enough to understand what it means – to be OK, to be a Manifestor. It’s OK to be a Manifestor. And as soon as Manifestor operates out of their Strategy, plays this game rooted in their Authority, they have peace. But moreover, you will see how incredible you are.
By the time we are 10, we are already full of problems. We think that other people are better than us. We think that they are thinking that we are not good enough. We would like to change a lot of things, if we could, and it is so sad. When I was giving these endless readings, it was so clear to me how people hate themselves, what nervous breakdowns they have as soon as I was pointing my finger at their Non-Self. They were saying “yes-yes-yes”, but I was saying – this is not you, that’s how you were living it, but it was not you». It’s the only freedom for us – to be ourselves. Whatever it means for me to be a Manifestor, with my configuration, or with other, the only thing which saved me – the thing that I am correct in my life. I don’t care what people think about me. I finally found my peace. And nobody can disturb it. And nobody can point a finger at my openness and disturb my peace, take it away from me. I’ve learned to see that I am OK, that there is nothing wrong with me. I am as good a lover as everyone else, and I can express my love just like others, the way that I am, even from behind the closed door. It is my variation of the theme. At the same time, if you don’t like this variation, I am OK. Find something you like. OK, that’s it for today.